It's Hard not to Hate You

This week's reading includes It's Hard Not to Hate You by Valerie Frankel.  This was on the new shelves for non-fiction at the library and I had mixed feelings going in - unleashing your Inner Hater is not really in keeping with my philosophy about life.  On the other hand, it's pretty funny.  And then I got to the part about writerly hatred, and I fell in love.  She talks about the opposite of schadenfreude - instead of feeling pleasure at other people's misfortune, we feel misery at other people's successes.

I don't know a single writer that doesn't feel this at one time or another. Frankel writes:

The rich. The thin. The beautiful. I’ve got no problem with them. If the world’s wealthiest, hottest woman walked into my office and asked for a cup of coffee, I’d get it. But if she said, “Guess what? My first novel just hit the New York Times bestsellers list!”?

Hate. She could get her coffee in hell.

I went online and bought the Nook book right then and there.  And I think it's funny that I read this during World Fantasy Convention weekend, where between all the air kisses and back-slapping and genuine happiness for others, there's a good deal of jealousy and cattiness and gossip.  It's part of the package.  Writer A is jealous of Writer B, Writer B is jealous of Writer C - it doesn't end.

On the other hand, I've been reading a lot of Brad Warner's Zen Buddhist books lately, and one of the principle tenets that I'm working on embracing is that there is no other.  When I look at you, I am seeing myself look out of your eyes back at me.  Hating a successful writer means hating myself.  And there is no self, which makes it all the more futile.  I'm on a Brad binge - four books in six weeks - so more on him later.

You can read more about Valerie Frankel and writerly hatred here.

You can read Brad Warner's blog here.